Good Grief

I stood in the parking lot and took 15 pictures as the nice gentleman rolled it out of it’s parking place and loaded it onto the flat bed. It’s gone. The first new car my husband and I ever bought together, and the first new car either of us had ever owned is gone. It’s not that I think a car is that important. It’s not. But there is something special about firsts.

My heart sank a little when I watched the truck pull away. A 2002 Mitsubishi Eclipse RS, dark grey with black interior. It wasn’t much for a sports car, no bells or whistles. But it was fast. And it was cute when we bought it. I remember when we signed the financing papers that we felt like we had signed our lives away for a vehicle that would loose at least a thrid of it’s value once we pulled off the lot. But I also remember the relief that came when we paid it off and got the title in the mail. In ten years we put 130,000 miles on it, and the only major problem it ever had was a week ago today, the clutch went out.

There were lots of good reasons to trade it in for something new, something bigger, including it is painful trying to get four people in and out of a two-door sports car no matter how small the people in the back seat are. But there is a little grief as we say good bye to our first car. There is a little saddness as we pass a new milestone in our lives realizing that we are older now and we have different needs then we did when we decided to welcome the little car into our lives.

This moment got me thinking about firsts. There is something special, something a little bit sacred about firsts. First birthdays, first steps, first days of school, first loves, first jobs, first cars, first houses, first fruits, first offerings. The first fruits that God desires us to bring as offering are special because they are the ones we waited for. I believe it was West Wing where I first heard that ‘it doesn’t cost millions of dollars to develop new drugs, it costs millions of dollars to develop the first new drug. The rest are fairly cheep to make.’ The firsts are the ones we labor over, the ones that give us grey hairs as the anxiety builds in our anticipation of thier arrival. The firsts are the ones that teach us and grow us into the people we are today.

God calls us to bring our firsts because God knows intimately how much we have sacrificed already to bring those firsts into fullness, and if we are willing to bring our firsts to God it is a sign of how much we love God and are blessed by God’s power through our firsts and our nexts and our lasts.

Thank you Creator and Sustainer, for blessing me and my family with the firsts. Help us to honor what we have been given by remembering fondly the gifts of your blessings, and responding in our love to you with gifts of firsts to others on our journey.



About lizdeweese

I'm a 40's something mom of two young children who serves as minister to a suburban church in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) in Arizona. I'm married to a minister ordained by the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) who serves at an Intentional Interim Minister. It's a challenge, but I love every bit of it!
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