That’s what Christians sound like

So I was listening to Morning Edition yesterday, and heard part of an interview with and author that sparked this latest post. The author’s name is Rosie Schaap and her memoir is called, “Drinking with Men.” Honestly I was a little annoyed, and frankly judgmental about this interview, because on the surface it sounded like a self-righteous justification for alcoholism. But as I listened, I heard a woman describe the formation of relationship from surface to pseudo family.
What struck me most was when the interviewer began to ask Ms. Schaap about bar culture. He asked her if bar culture was something that anyone could try and find the special Learnings and friendships, is does it take a unique person to find that?
In my mind I thought it must be that it takes a unique person because bars have never been my scene. I know I sound a little like a snob, but honestly, I just have never liked the smell, of the noise, or the fear of ruffies. I know I said I was being a snob, but this is what went through my head. And just to be clear, it’s snobby because I’m not against drinking or even drinking with friends, I’m not a prude, I just don’t get bars. So what she said surprised me.
“Bar culture can offer something to everyone,” she says. “When I invite friends of mine who don’t spend as much time in bars as I do, they always have a great time, and they get it, and they see how supportive we are of one another, and how we really do, as fellow regulars, just help each other let off that steam. Though if you’re not a true regular, you might not see why people choose to come back night after night.”
And while she talked what I heard was what I think non-churched and more likely de-churched people hear when church people talk about church. That’s what we sound like to outsiders. Not inviting, but judgmental of the people who don’t come back and how they just don’t get it. We think everyone would love it if they would just try it.
Then I thought, while Jesus is for all people, maybe church is not. I haven’t come to any amazing insights about what to do with all of this yet, but I knew it was something I needed to write about, because too often we church types are a little too sure of ourselves, and this is a turn off.
Maybe we need to be a little less assuming, and become better listeners. Just a thought.

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About lizdeweese

I'm a 30's something mom of two young children who serves as minister to a suburban church in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) in Cincinnati, Ohio. I'm married to a minister of another Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) just across the river in norther Kentucky. It's a challenge, but I love every bit of it!
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4 Responses to That’s what Christians sound like

  1. Jennifer says:

    Thanks for this post! Welcome to RevGals!

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